In the last decade, matchmaking services have cropped up all over the world, but is joining one right for you? Let’s take a look at the reasons you might consider it.
- Dates are screened in advance, so you’re not wasting time with people with whom you have nothing in common. A service screens out what you don’t want and tries to match what you do want (such as faith-based values, a certain age range, income, lifestyle, etc.).
- Today’s singles seem to have limited time for meeting other singles and dating. Who wants to spend an evening with someone who’s not interesting to you? A service increases the likelihood that you won’t be wasting time with inappropriate dates.
- Services are great for people who are new to a particular area. If you have just moved somewhere, you probably don’t know where to meet appropriate singles, and you haven’t found any groups to join yet, such as professional organizations and churches. A service can introduce you to the best people in your new hometown.
- It’s tough these days to find the best places to meet people. Maybe your church, volunteer organization or Rotary group just hasn’t come through for you in revealing suitable dates. It’s time to hand the search over to a matchmaking service!
- Many people feel uncomfortable meeting singles in bars or crowded events. Sure, “good” people also go to bars and clubs, but you have to weed through a LOT of poor matches to try to find the “cream of the crop.” Why waste your time? Let a matchmaking service weed through the masses for you.
- It’s expensive to date these days. There is the cost of restaurants, parking, alcohol, clothing, tips, etc. It adds up when you are dating a series of people with no potential. Using a matchmaking service can be easier and cheaper than going on a thousand dates and not finding someone right for you.
- Once you meet someone, there’s always the “grilling” process where you ask each other lots of questions to find out if you are compatible. Matchmakers can significantly reduce this process for you. Don’t like pets? A matchmaker will screen that out for you right away. You won’t have to spend an evening with someone only to find out she has five cats at home.
- We are all busy these days, especially with our careers. Often, we just want to go home, relax on the couch and watch TV! Of course, we have to get out to meet people, but if we do it on our own we may find ourselves going home time after time wishing we had just stayed home! Time is valuable. Make sure that the times you do make an effort to go out that it’s with someone who has been pre-screened by a matchmaking service and therefore likely to be worth the time you took to leave your comfy sofa.
- It’s tough to date when you are shy or cautious, especially for women. When approached in a bar or social setting, you have no idea if the guy is married or just wanting to “get lucky.” People that you meet through a matchmaking service are screened. You will know if their marital status is never married, divorced or widowed. They are guaranteed to be single and open to dating.
- Once you’re past your twenties, it seems like it gets harder and harder to meet people in your age group. More people are married or “hooked up,” and the dating pool gets smaller, or at least it seems so. Matchmaking services have a wide array of members of various ages so you have access to available people in your own age group. When thirty-eight-year-old Ellen went to a singles group at her church, she found that she was the only member under the age of sixty! After joining a matchmaking service, Ellen is now meeting eligible men in her own age group.
Seven Things To Keep In Mind When Joining A Matchmaking Service
There are good and bad matchmaking services. Your time and money are precious, so ask questions before you sign up with a service. Don’t be afraid to visit more than one until you find a service that feels right for you. Some things to check out are:
- Realize that both dating and matchmaking services can be quite expensive, but there are services to fit every budget. You can be sure if a company refuses to discuss price over the phone, it will be costly, usually in the thousands. A benefit of choosing a fee-based service is that it may screen out people who are not serious about finding a long-term relationship with health. In other words, if they are willing to pay, they are more likely to be truly looking for a soul mate. In some cities, there are matchmaking services that do not charge the ladies as long as they meet certain criteria. Usually these services require that the woman look like a model.
- Make sure that they have members in your part of town if you are not willing to travel or relocate. Many services insist that members meet potential matches in other counties, cities, states or even countries! Many people do not want a long-distance relationship.
- Don’t feel pressured by aggressive salespeople. Matchmaking and dating services are businesses. They want your patronage. Don’t let them talk you into joining before they have answered all of your questions satisfactorily. And don’t let yourself be conned by a salesperson saying that the price is only good if you join right now. That is a sales tactic.
- Ask how long they have been in business and what their track record is. If you feel uneasy, ask for testimonials from satisfied customers.
- If you do join, read your contract! Know what you are getting yourself into. Most people don’t even know what they have signed.
- Make sure that you feel comfortable with your matchmaker. If you don’t feel he or she is really listening to your needs, don’t hesitate to ask to work with another person. Sometimes another personality will be a better fit for you.
- Realize that the matchmakers are not magicians but they will do their best. You can tell them exactly what you are looking for but if you are too specific—for example, you want a Heidi Klum look-a-like, twenty years your junior, never married, no kids, wants kids, speaks French, loves Rottweilers, and can cook—well, good luck! I always say, I’m just a matchmaker not a magician. The more realistic you are, the better chance you will have at finding true love. If you are not attracting/dating super models on your own, you won’t be able to lock one down for a relationship through a service either.
For more insight and hilarious stories about my life as a Beverly Hills Matchmaker…
check out my memoir