Rediscover Yourself After a Relationship

Today’s post is brought to us by blogger Isabel William

The relationship’s over and so is your life, right? Wrong. While it’s absolutely understandable you are devastated after ending something that sure meant a lot to you, it’s not the end of the world. It IS the end of the world as you knew it as a couple, but your world as a single person only needs to be built, even stronger, even more beautiful, and far happier than it used to be.

For all of you gorgeous girls out there who’ve had your heart broken by the men who didn’t deserve to call you theirs in the first place, here’s how you can use your current vulnerability and turn it into your biggest weapon:

Overcome the “we” mentality

Everything starts with learning your new linguistics. Wait, what? Simply put: start replacing the habitual “we” with a strong “I”.  It’ll take some time to adjust, but you’ll get there. Hey, we’ve all been there… adopting the plural as our only identity and losing ourselves in the spiral of romantic sameness. Ah, love.

Now, that you are “I” again, try to look inside of you and think of things that truly make you happy. Out of everything that you and your ex-partner used to do together, there must have been things you didn’t quite enjoy but did practice for the sake of the relationship. Eliminate those and focus on the rest that makes your heart jump. Then, start practicing that, and – most importantly – enjoy it.



Go on hikes

Whether you are a fitness person or not, hiking will do your mind (and body!) good, especially now when you’ve got things to sort out. Turning to nature for help is probably one of the best things you can do when the emotions get too overwhelming to handle reasonably, and wondering how to get over someone you used to love more than yourself becomes the only focal point of your day. Nature is therapeutic, and it will help you get a healthy perspective on things.


Don’t beat yourself up

No matter how toxic your relationship was and how blind you were to see that, or – even worse – how much energy you spent on trying to fix things, you need to understand that things happen for a reason. Your relationship and the breakup were just what you needed to get it together and finally realize what you (don’t) deserve in your life. Sometimes, the best of things come to us through the most painful experiences, so – no matter how heartbroken you are – stay strong enough to understand the benefit of it.



Surround yourself with people who matter

Relationships usually take a lot of our time and we tend to shift focus from people who were always there to just our partner. In such (unhealthy) dynamics, many friendships fall apart, people fall out of touch and – before you know it – we are left with just a few people around us, those who were crazy enough to put up with being neglected or put second.

Reach out to the people you used to share everything with, reconnect with them and admit you’ve been a bad friend for letting your friendship fall apart as it did. Try to make amends and move on, with a smarter perspective on things this time around. And, listen to this – if it happens that some of your (former) friends aren’t too happy about the idea of reconnecting, that’s okay, too. There’s a time and place for everything and everyone in our lives, and your time as friends has obviously passed.

            Listen, one of these days you’ll wake up and realize your chest doesn’t hurt anymore; your head will be clear and your heart open – this is when you’ll realize how wonderful it is to have yourself with you, in the moment. The pain will pass, because everything in this life is circular. Enjoy the wonderfulness of today, embrace it and start loving every inch of your being. Soon you’ll understand why this breakup was the best thing that could have happened to you!