Recently I was interviewed on Playboy radio. A couple of the topics that came up were what men and women look for physically in a partner, and online profiles. Women tend to look for men that are taller than themselves, often MUCH taller. A gentleman called in and shared with us that he was 5’8″, and he seemed to get passed by online, and he feels it is because of his height. Why do women often prefer a tall man? Well, it goes back to the caveman days when the woman needed the man to protect her and their children. After all, a bear, wild boar or Sasquatch could come and attack at any time. And we now have serial killers, rapists and vampires roaming the streets of our cities.
We are hard wired to look to the male to protect. It is the same reason why men are attracted to women with hour glass figures, ample breasts, clear skin and lustrous hair; it is a signal for health and fertility.
There are millions of people on Internet dating sites and it is a wonderful way to meet people, but you have to stand out in the crowd. Since you can’t change your height, or other certain physical qualities that make you YOU, what can you do to get noticed?
Well, the first thing that people look at is your photo. If you don’t have a photo posted, you need to put one up! If you are just too uncomfortable posting your photo because of your high profile job or a previous stalker… most sites provide a feature that hides your profile and photo from view but still gives you the option of contacting other members.
The number one complaint that people have about online dating is that when they meet the person, “she/he looked nothing like her/his photo.”
You want an accurate depiction so that you don’t disappoint or waste anyone’s valuable time. I truly believe that there is someone for everyone, so if you don’t look like a model, don’t worry. Be yourself, be honest and you will find love.
Ok, so if you stick to these guidelines, you should be good to go:
* Post current photos. At least within the last year or two.
* Do not post photos any more than five-ten pounds thinner than your current weight.
* Do not post photos of you in a bikini, cleavage busting out, lingerie, a mini skirt, partying with a drink in your hand, or surrounded by a bunch of your gorgeous girlfriends.
* Do not post photos of yourself with your face hidden by sunglasses, a hat or visor, or your head turned sideways.
* Do not get your photos taken at Glamor Shots at the mall. Too cheesy.
* Do not post photos of yourself with old boyfriends, or even male friends. Men tend to assume the man is or was a romantic partner.
* Do post photos of you happy, smiling, having fun.
* Do post photos that show you dressed up for an evening out. Classy is the key. Not photos of you going out for shots at a bar, trying to pick up men with the size of your tatas and/or lack of material of your skirt.
* Do post photos with your pets
* Do post photos looking relaxed on vacation in a beautiful setting.
* Women, if you have long hair, post a photo with it down and done nice. Men love long hair.
* Men, do not post photos of yourself with no shirt on, flexing your muscles or posing in front of a sports car. Nothing is a bigger turn-off. It immediately signals: “self absorbed jerk.”
How are you standing out in online dating? What kinds of things do you notice that makes you stop for a second look or keeps you trotting right on by?