Are Your Boundaries Leaking?
Chances are if you’re reading this, you’re tired of feeling pulled in so many different directions – putting everyone else’s needs before your own and hoping that someone would finally tend to you. Am I right?
You keep saying yes when you wish you could say no.
You’ve started to feel resentful and angry that you’re the one to do everything.
You wish for once – you could simply ask for what you need.
And while you know something has to change, you’re not really sure what. The good news is that this checklist is designed to help you gain awareness by identifying your leaky boundaries so you can take the first step toward putting yourself first!
How many of these feel familiar to you?
* You often feel like the victim of other’s behaviors.
* You have little privacy in your life.
* You prefer not to say anything when someone hurts you or cheats you (intentionally or accidentally).
* You feel like a pushover when others express their desires.
* You feel it’s virtuous to put others ahead of yourself and you feel mean or selfish when you try to assert your desires.
* You often feel resentful toward others because they don’t’ seem to take your needs into consideration.
* Your partner calls you several times throughout the day to talk about problems at home and things you need to “handle”.
* Your mother comes over unannounced and then proceeds to tell you everything you’re doing wrong with your life.
* Your kids leave dirty clothes on the floor knowing you’ll always pick them up.
* Your neighbor plays loud music every night, but you say nothing.
* Your boss repeatedly asks you to work extra – on weekends and evenings – without notice or additional pay.
* Whenever you go out to eat with your friend, she tells you what to eat and you simply follow her suggestions.
* Your partner repeatedly makes plans without asking for your input.
* Your friends invite you to dinner and you always let them choose the restaurant.
* Your family is always setting you up with people, even though you’re in a relationship.
* Your waiter delivers the wrong entree, but you don’t want to return the food.
* You’re freezing at your sister’s house on a visit, but you don’t want to ask to have the heat turned up.
* Your teenager takes money from your wallet, without asking or telling you.
* Your partner puts you down in front of friends and then acts as if you’re too sensitive when you ask them to stop.
* You don’t see yourself as the kind of person who sets boundaries.
If you identify any (or many) of the above, chances are you have leaky boundaries!
Now that you know where your boundaries are leaking, you can fill the gaps by taking the essential steps toward changing your life, and your ability to get more of what you need!
Here are 3 questions you can ask yourself today to support you in taking the self-honoring actions to become a boundary badass.
Begin by pulling out your journal and a piece of paper and begin to contemplate a life where your needs matter, and you trust that your needs can be met – by yourself and others. Then take the time to answer these questions.
The key will be to answer the questions AND put the self-honoring steps into action.
- What is a morning routine you will do to locate yourself, to check in and honor yourself?
- What is an evening routine you will do to return to yourself?
- What will you no longer accept or tolerate as you commit to honoring your needs?
Want support or to learn more about how you too can become a boundary badass? I offer a 45-minute complimentary discovery session via Zoom so you can learn how Boundary Coaching will give you the confidence and courage you need to build a life where you matter!
Find out more about Boundary Coaching & to set your discovery session HERE.